If I have lapsed in my sinning duties, this was certainly the opportunity to make it right. Four bars, plenty of friends, and a sea of women & whiskey. Like any good night in the Village, this one started at The Continental. Five shots, ten dollars. The night ended at Cheap Shots, and there were more than enough shots to go around this night. I had a few friends more than willing to help me hit number 93 with a bullet.
I always made the claim that I would pound five in a row of Jameson, and this was the night I intended to actually do it. And I did, and my friends made quite the spectacle of it so that onlookers would see me rise or fall to the challenge. I wish Rocky was playing in the background, as it had in the past, but no such luck. After the said shot challenge, too many strangers were aware of my existence. My friend started small talk with a wily brunette, trying to play the part of a wing man as much as possible. She asked if I was done for the night, and my friend just laughed. I’m sure she found my early alcoholism charming on multiple levels. And we talked for a little while, but I really wasn’t feeling it. Maybe in another few drinks she would have been the girl of my dreams, but not then & there.
Bar two was more low-key. There was lots of dancing, and that is something I refuse to do despite how many pretty girls try to grab my hand and drag me to the floor. I cooled off with a rum & coke, and hung my head low, to the disapproval of the group. Naturally, this wound me up in a corner with a lady that seemed to be taking a breather. I asked if she had a debilitating ankle injury, she said she was just taking a rest. I mentioned my common medical condition of two left feet, and apologized at how lame that was (a move a friend of mine has claimed as his own), and it worked because she laughed. We small talked it out, and I nursed my drink to recoup from the shot loss of sobriety, when a female friend came up, I took it as an exit strategy.
This was much the case for the other two bars as well. I started strong on the drinking, but then took my time, and played the role of the silent observer most of the night. I really wasn’t feeling much of anything, that might have been due to the buzz though. The farthest I got with any girl was playful half-drunk touches, and small talk.
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Tagged: 100 girls, 100 girls 100 days, anatomy, ass, bar scene, bars, datings, drinking, drunken hook ups, ex girlfriends, fuck, Jamba Juice, kissing, naked, nude, relationships, romance, russians, sexual encounters, sexual intercourse, tits
I’ve been told that Vodka makes me mean. I’ve also been told I’m a very mean sober. It was probably a bad idea to start drinking White Russians with a coworker, but I’m an awkward drink order at times, I occasionally just glob on to whatever the person I’m with is drinking. I’ve never been particularly picky over drinks. I felt the phone vibrate, thinking it was Kara, but it was my ex, and I just wanted to ignore it. Kara came and joined us minutes later and insisted I switch to scotch, but I refused. Never one to mince words, Kara puts orders a scotch and a White Russian.
Then she starts in about Taylor, having read about it, and not spoken to me since it happened. I just mentioned how I was kind of seeing Nicole, and I wasn’t exactly proud of the whole Taylor thing. She then decided to point out how boring I (and by extension the reading material) has been aside from her. I told her that maybe I was a lapsed sinner. She nudged my drink closer and gave a devilish grin. I took a gulp. She asked if I would call Taylor if I got drunk enough, this is the precise moment I looked down at my phone and saw a text from yet another girl, drunk already, and asking me to come over. I gave her a flimsy excuse, and told her that I wasn’t much feeling like going out. All the while Kara watching and yelling at me over it. This is while the text girl went from flirty to belligerent. She started coaxing harder, and then calling me an asshole and a tool. I finished my White Russian, and started to get up and out of the bar without a word.
She came walking after me, asking if I was gonna say bye or anything. I just muttered some half-assed shallow apology. I then get yet another drunk text from another girl from the last 90 days. She mentions how she asked around about me, and how I’m allegedly a catch, and I just lose my shit. I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I told her it was messed up that she was asking around about me, and how I couldn’t believe that she would even do it. I proceed to go back to the bar, and re-sit myself down next to Kara, and order a scotch and soda.
We don’t say a word for five minutes. She kept almost saying something, and then just saw the look on my face. She knew I wanted pristine silence, and to just sit and drink together. Personally, it wouldn’t even have mattered if she was there at that moment, but it wasn’t entirely awful that she was. She smacked me upside the head out of nowhere, and just said, “Snap out of it.” I could have kissed or killed her in that moment, but I just repeated my disappearing act.
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Tagged: 100 days, 100 girls, 100 girls 100 days, anatomy, ass, bars, dates, dating, datings, drinking, drunken hook ups, ex girlfriends, girlfriends, head, humor, Jamba Juice, kissing, ladies, love, making out, nake, naked, nude, sexual encounters, social psychology, social science
Sleater-Kinney – What’s Mine Is Yours
The Old 97’s – Just Like California
Lucero – Nights Like These
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists – Heart Problems
The Academy – Magic
Tapes ‘N Tapes – Time Of Songs
Menomena – Boyskouts Sweetboyskouts
The Pixies – Caribou
Meg & Dia – Cardigan Weather
Juliette and the Licks – Purgatory Blues
Kevin Devine – Fever Moon
The Avett Brothers – Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise
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Tagged: playlists
As I stood uncomfortably close to a middle age man on the 6, I prayed that the 6 foot tall, mannish, Amazonian redhead was not the girl I was going downtown to see. All I had to go on was a tiny twitter pic, and the fact she had red-hair. I prayed for the best.
There’s no incredibly cute meet cute story for Zoe. Zoe’s a twenty something female journalist for a major New York paper, who wanted to do a story on me. I walked in the bar and the back of her head was the first thing I saw, even before I saw the tap. I did the awkward blind date thing where you know it’s the person but you still have to say her name in the form of a question, to save yourself from the 1% chance of being wrong. And I was so insanely grateful she bore no resemblance to the WNBA player on the subway. She was tiny and more than mildly adorable.
So I grabbed a happy hour Brooklyn Lager, and after some scrambling for a chair, we sat and started the daterview. As a person, after about a week of probably too much G-chatting, she was exactly what I was expecting: sarcastic, awkward, ball-busting, and incredibly easy to talk to.
So, in that context it was a lot of what I was expecting, but she caught me off guard a couple times, which is a pretty much what you want a date to do. Firstly, she ordered a nice, respectable Brooklyn Lager, which I appreciated since I got the same.
I wasn’t expecting to have nearly as enjoyable as a time as I did, and I certainly wasn’t expecting to be laughing nearly as much as I did. We had a pretty decent chemistry and an acceptable amount of awkwardness, given the scenario.
We both kept saying how she was hard to read, but the situation itself doesn’t exactly lend itself to straight-forwardness. She’s writing on me, and I’m writing on her and were both aware of the other’s writing. I don’t think she’s necessarily a hard read, just something that would require more than quick skim to grasp and get a handle on. I wouldn’t exactly hate a second, closer read. But, in blunt honestly, I had a pretty damn time good time with this girl, probably one of the better dates I’ve been on in 100+ days. The fact that I only had one beer in the middle of happy hour during this date, and had a thoroughly great time, should speak volumes to that.
Categories: Sex · dating · humor · love
Tagged: 100, 100 days, 100 girls, 100 girls 100 days, anatomy, apathy, brooklyn, brooklyn brewery, brooklyn lager, coffee shops, dates, dating, datings, drinking, ex girlfriends, exctasy, girlfriends, happy hour, Jamba Juice, kissing, ladies, love, naked, nude, one night stands, psychology, relationships, romance, social experiments, social psychology, social science, travis dillinger
I was really scraping the bottom of the barrel this day. I had no pre-determined plans, no real prospects, and didn’t exactly feel like winging it. I called friends, female friends, and people I barely ever want to talk to…I almost resorted to the ugly girl I know has a crush on me…but held resilient. Eventually I found out an ex-coworker was going to a bar for drinks in the vicinity of where I was, so I invited myself along when I found out she was with a female friend.
I called some friends, who called some friends, and before we knew it was something of a gathering. I took the opportunity of multiple people distracting Angela to strike up some chit chat with her friend, and then stole her away to a booth and we talked a little bit. Nothing really happened, I don’t think either of us were really feeling it, she left after one drink, and I was stuck making small talk with Angela and a couple other friends.
Categories: dating · humor · love
Tagged: 100 days, 100 girls, anatomy, bars, dates, dating, drunken hook ups, ladies, love, naked, nude, one night stands, relationships, sexual encounters, sexual intercourse, sexual positions, social experiments, travis
February 3, 2010 · 1 Comment
I met Emma in a dingy little café while sitting down with my laptop and pretending to work on this website. Of course when she peered over, I lowered my screen. She accused me of looking at porn, and I told her that it was something much more incriminating. She giggled and I knew it was over.
When I saw her through the window of the restaurant, she looked taller than I remembered, but I know how girls are with shoes on a first date. I have a conspiracy theory that it’s to get the upper hand, by trying to be as tall as possible. They build themselves to be bigger than they really are. I took a deep breath and walked in. When the waiter walked over she ordered a Gin Martini, and I was thankful that it wasn’t a Cosmo. Girls who order cosmos assure me one thing. They get their dating habits, rituals, and values from Sex & The City. And I hate Sex & The City.
So she passed my first test, ordering a drink I can respect. I ordered a beer, and we got to talking. She told me that she had been in the city for three years, a transplant from Ohio, and I had to share my harrowing Ohio road trip. But then again, any time you are on a road trip to anywhere, you are bound to encounter problems. It’s a law of nature. Like dumb blondes and Jager bombs. After an hour or so, we decided to take a walk, and get out of there.
Not two seconds out the door, Emma asks me to wait a minute that she wanted to go to the bathroom real quick. So I wait next to the door, and light a cigarette and engage in some light people watching. She walks out and almost right past me.
Congrats.
For.
You passed the tip test?
I’m sorry?
You tipped the waiter twenty percent. I used to be a waitress, that was a big factor in whether or not I was going to pretend to forget I had to meet my roommate.
I laughed at her, but couldn’t help but think how insanely neurotic it was. Apparently she has a steadfast rule against dating bad tippers. She brought up Groundhog’s day and six more weeks of winter, and I said I didn’t mind the cold, or the company I found in it. She then grabbed my hand and led me to the subway.
Ten minutes later I’m across town and in her favorite jazzy dive. It was still early yet, so we were the only people there. We kept talking and then she got a call from her roommate, who locked herself out. I laughed a paranoid laughter and asked her what I did. She kissed me hard on the lips a few times, reassuring me that it was just a freak coincidence. Despite the kissing, I’m still not entirely convinced if I passed or failed Emma 101
Categories: Sex · dating · humor · love
Tagged: 100 days, 100 girls, 100 girls 100 days, ass, blues, coffee shops, dates, dating, datings, fucking, jazz, kissing, making out, naked, nude, one night stands, psychology, relationships, romance, Sex, sexual intercourse, sexual positions, social psychology, social science, tits, travis dillinger
Kathy was a friend of a friend of a friend of a roommate when I knew her in college. We recently caught up on Facebook, and I always assumed she had a little bit of a crush on me. So, when I started flirting with her, I was surprised to see her recollect that we had apparently kissed a little bit in my junior year. Of course this was at a party where I swore to take a break on drinking two days prior, and wound up going on a three-day bender. I apologized and she said it was okay.
This led to us getting Margaritas in an East Village burrito place at seven P.M on a Monday. And then the señorita came clean. She had a crush on me in college. I should have figured this out when she drunkenly mentioned to both me and my roommate that she had to go home to her empty room….several times in five minutes. But I was denser back then, and on the verge of a serious relationship with a certain someone. She made me do a shot of tequila, something I normally would never do, but she guilted me into it about the not remembering the kissing scenario. Then it hit me that she was trying to recreate it, as she was recently single and more than a little giggly.
But it wasn’t college. We weren’t beer pong partners, and my friend didn’t not-get the hint to leave us alone. We didn’t sneak off to my suite-mates room and make out on his bed (as I’m told happened). We had three drinks after tough days at work, and vented. Then she went off to her Upper East Side apartment.
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Tagged: 100 days, 100 girls, 100 girls 100 days, anatomy, apathy, date, dates, dating, datings, drinking, drunken hook ups, ex girlfriends, exctasy, fucking, kissing, mexican, naked, nude, psychology, sexual intercourse, sexual positions, social experiments, social science, travis dillinger
Bridget & I did something on a first date that usually is reserved for the third or fifth date. It was intimate, and involved early morning togetherness. It was a bit awkward, and a little painful in the rough spots, but it was pretty satisfying. Of course I’m talking about getting brunch together. The mimosas helped to cure the awkwardness. She was shy, shyer than I normally go out with, and in some weird twist of neurosis this made me a little more nervous and less talkative. But it was Sunday, and I had a lot of very stupid things to do, and this was the easiest time to schedule a date. I realized (after 28 years and 87 days) that I much like being over 21, and dating girls over 21, getting a drink is a nice method of relaxation. You don’t have to go overboard, but everybody cools off a little bit of their nerves and fears after getting a tingly tummy and clouded head.
She made a joke about hating first dates, and I agreed. But then sort of had to back pedal and say they weren’t that bad, it was the second and third dates where you get yourself in trouble. First dates are simple. You either like someone or you don’t. I’ve become entirely too comfortable with the idea of a first date.
Bridget was nice, but I was could tell she was holding back, as we all tend to do on a first date. I’m not gonna mention my drinking binges, and 86 prior days of dating on a first date, but I got a feel enough for her character. She was pretty, in a plain sort of way. She tried to touch my arm a few times and dodged it by picking up the wine, yet another wonderful use for alcohol.
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Tagged: 100 days 100 girls, brunch, dates, dating, days, fucking, fucks, girls, happiness, life, love, mimosas, naked, nude, travis dillinger, wine
Josh Rouse – Quiet Town
The Who – 1921
She & Him – In The Sun
Smoking Popes – I Know You Love Me
A. A. Bondy – Killed Myself When I Was Young
Those Darlins – Wild One
The Good Life – Always A Bridesmaid
Rouge Wave- Publish My Love
Pavement – AT & T
Noah And The Whale – Rocks and Daggers
Joe Purdy – Paris In The Morning
R.E.M – Nighswimming
Peter Gabriel – Flume (Bon Iver Cover)
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Tagged: joe purdy, music, noah and the whale, pavement, peter gabriel, playlists, r.e.m., rouge wave, the good life, those darlins, travis dillinger
