The 100 Girls, 100 Days Project

Age: 28

Height: 5′4

Hair Color: Brunette

Method: Letting a little piece of my soul die

Advancement: The Revenge Fuck

The ex called me because she decided she wanted to initiate round five thousand of the Trying to Make Each Other Feel Like Shit (Patent pending) game. I think she can bring out the worst in me sometimes. I swear she brings out the meanness, the spitefulness, and the pettiness in me.  And this is how my day began. I clearly had no choice but to continue the day in a self-destructive spiral.

I started hitting the booze almost immediately once I got off of work, and went bar hopping with a few friends. Before I know it, we have a pretty sizable group and everybody was buying everybody shots. And then she showed up. The girl my ex always hated. My ex was always convinced the girl wanted to sleep with me. Now, I always shunned it off, because that’s what you do when you are in a relationship. You deny that any other person could remotely be interested in you and it is just insane jealousy. But my ex clearly had a founded suspicion. We’ve had a flirty kind of thing going for a few years, and I always kind of assumed she had some sort of carnal feelings for me.

So needless to say: beers + my situation + shots + her touching my arm flirtingly + car bombs= 2 naked people doing very adult things.

I’m not going lie, I’ve always had an atom-sized crush on this girl. This could have been a joyful occasion. This was the culmination of years of sitcom level banter, second-guessed touches, and the like. If it were any other day, if it was under any other circumstance, I would have adored it. But I couldn’t. My guilt wouldn’t let me. She kept stopping and saying adorable things that would normally cause me to smile, but it just kept taking me out of it. It’s not my proudest moment, and I do feel a little bad about it. It’s not even as if the ex will find out…she probably will, but not from me at least. It could be why I’m trying to bury myself in coffee at a diner at the moment.