Age: 26
Height: 5’10
Hair: Blonde
Method: The Wedding Date
On my way to one of my best friend’s wedding I was hung-over. Ten minutes before I got there, I pulled over to vomit. It wasn’t lost on me that while they were preparing to start their lives together, I was coming off of a night of drinking and bad decisions. Now, I know weddings are a great place to meet girls, but I stupidly checked plus one to this and was recently single, so I scrambled to find a date. One of my college friends happily volunteered to come with. It only took two words to convince her: open bar.
And it’s a funny thing to be the only single person in a wedding party. Literally every single person said the following sentence to me.
So, tell me about this girl you are bringing.
I found it funny they were so concerned with this one girl, especially considering how I’ve spent the last week. But that’s what people in relationships do. They want everybody to join their cult of coupledom.
Because I was in the wedding party I didn’t even get to see my date until the reception. Thankfully, she’s a resourceful girl, and found a few people she knew and clung to them. So, we drank, ate, drank some more, and were having a pretty good time. This girl wasn’t that close to me in college, were never the best of friends, but we always got along fine. A funny thing happened as the night went on. We started to laugh a little more, she dragged me on the dance floor, and she smashed sunflower seeds on my face. It was straight out of a bad romantic comedy, but it started to wear my shield down and work on me.
Sadly, I started to buy into the expectations and the hype. I think everybody constantly asking me about her and insinuating that sparks would fly, plus the environment and booze, put the idea in my head. But I held back, a little cricket of paranoia kept whispering into my ear. I didn’t actually make a move. I’m not sure why. I think I got too into my head at the moment…and I know I don’t like her in that way, so it was just a weird situation.
Nine days in, and I already have my first unsuccessful day. It isn’t a loss though; the only thing stopping things from happening was me. I’m pretty sure we were drunk enough, in a romantic enough situation, and had a hotel room, so that things could have happened. But I just toasted my best friends, had another vodka and Coke, and pressed on.
