When I go home to suburbia, I usually hit the same places. I go to the diner by house for bagels, the coffee joint for mid-day coffee, the Irish Pub for drinks with my high school friends. I’ve done this more times than I care to admit. I don’t even think about it, I just do it every single time automatically. It’s nice to immerse yourself in creature comforts you don’t normally get. And of all the diners in all the towns in all the world, she had to step into mine.

I didn’t even know who it was. I’ve built this girl up in my mind so much, and it’d been so long since I’d actually seen her that I had no clue who she was. She is actually the one who approached me.

Do I know you from somewhere?

You know that’s the oldest line ever right?

It only took about fifteen bad guesses until she asked if I ever went to a certain hospital. I then realized who she was. And this is how Nicole waltzed back into my life.

So we talked a little, and I’m pretty sure my awkwardness over having bumped into her came off as disinterest. I was honestly just shocked. So were talking and she’s telling me how her grandmother lives a few blocks away and how she’s just stopping in for some donuts, and she had to get going. I just smiled and told her to have a nice day

I didn’t get her number for entirely different reasons this time. I really don’t want to date anybody right now. I don’t really want to have the cutesy meetings, the neurosis, the hurt, and the long night phone calls. I don’t want any of it right now. I’m far too mixed up and far too bizarrely committed to this. She just might be my savior, but if it’s meant to happen, I don’t think now is the time.