Me and D have one of the weirdest friends/non-relationships/love/hate kind of things. It all boils down to the simple fact that we could/will never remotely get our shit together. Either I have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend, I’m not looking for a relationship, she’s a basket case, or we spend all our time on the phone together, it’s a revolving relationship. It’s been going on for years: every six or so months we love and then hate each other. It’s been this way for years, and I get a little sick of it every few months.
It also works out that our schedules never mesh, so we go through these fits without actually having to see each other. Last night, in a fit of drunken spontaneity, she randomly calls and asks me if she can come over, just to get a bottle of wine. And I was glad because with the project, it was finally time to get her out of my system.
So she comes over, and I haven’t seen her in well over a year, and it was just weird. It was awkward as hell; so she immediately asks to crack open the wine. We also decide that we are gonna watch some Scrubs, because she likes to joke that we are like JD/Elliot in the on/off again kind of stuff. So we are sitting there on the couch with a pretty decent mutual buzz going on, she’s cuddled against my chest, and I just decide to go for it. I turn, kiss her, and immediately she pulls away. And this freaks me the fuck out, because I’d never seem to misread a situation more. She tells me that we should wait, but I become paranoid, that I did something wrong, and I don’t think she likes me at all and seeing me in person has completely complicated the situation.
But she then proceeds to keep cuddling with me, holding my hand, putting her head in my chest, until she falls asleep. Eventually I wake her up, because I know she had to get home, and I walk her to her car. It’s that slow kind of walk where we are just chatting and being flirty, and out of nowhere she goes, “I swear to God if you try and kiss me, I’ll kick your ass”. And this screamed of the kind of time where a girl would say the exact opposite of what she means, and I decided that was my final straw with the scenario.
The way I see it this is just a case of the girl getting what she wants and the guy not…
It would be just like if he was gettin all sorts of action but never cuddling, napping, or whatever. If that was the case, though, she would call him a dick and get on with her life without him if it mattered that much. Why do we put up with this? Don’t waste my time if we can’t both get what we want.