I might have potentially royally fucked myself over with this particular date. I got drinks with a recently single coworker. Now, we’ve always been small talk over coffee, witty office banter kind of colleagues. I took the opportunity to ask her if she wanted to get drinks after a particularly painfully boring Tuesday work-day. Thankfully, she was all for it, because I didn’t want to really have to resort to the chubbier sure thing…because these days I think that I would sadly not be too discriminatory.

She suggested we started with shots. And, I hadn’t had a sober day in quite some time at this point, so I figure, might as well keep the trend going. So we did Jagerbombs. Then we did car bombs. Then we drank gin. If I didn’t know better, I swear she was trying to get drunk, but I did know better. She was trying to get herself drunk. I was the rebound, and the bad mistake. This was okay, because she was just number 26.

I spent the night trying to figure out how far I was willing to take this one. I have to see this woman five days a week. But these days I don’t much care about consequence. These days I just care about getting through the night. And she seemed willing. But as far as deciding goes, I didn’t have to, she decided for me, by telling me she had a bottle of vodka she wanted to attack with some help.

We went back to her place and surely enough attacked the vodka. The next thing I know I’m waking up to her alarm clock. Immediately I know that I won’t even get to do the walk of shame. I’d have to go to work in the same clothes as the night before. And I didn’t bother leaving, we showered and then headed off to work. I guess doing sober what you do drunk doesn’t qualify as a total mistake, we agreed that we should just ignore it, but who knows how that will pan out