Day fifty-one was the long sought after fabled first Nicole date. I’d built it up in my head for years, and then spent years pushing it down to the darkest depths of my subconscious.
And no, none of the dates of the project were quite like this. I actually liked Nicole. I liked Nicole enough to not smoke, or drink, or OD on coffee before the date. I liked Nicole enough that I didn’t want to use vices to combat nerves. I kept myself unadulterated for her. I took her to my favorite Mexican place in the city. When the waiter came over I asked for a Makers. She looked at me incredulously. I changed it to a beer.
We sat there and talked about what we were doing in our lives, and the fact that we really didn’t know what we were doing. We had this really honest, understanding kind of conversation. She told me how she would have loved to go to med school, and how she settled into her job, something I can relate to way too much. I fessed up about how I wanted to ask her out way back three years ago, conveniently leaving out how I equated her to Moby Dick to my friends.
I was kind of hoping you would.
I knew I was right! My friends told me I was crazy.
Tell the story a lot?
It’s a good story.
And how am I portrayed?
Awkward, charming, and an ever-hazing vision of blonde beauty, getting blurrier as the years pass.
You’ve practiced that haven’t you?
Little bit.
You know that day I ran into you. I was hoping you’d man up.
Yeah, sorry. I’m not much of a man. Took me three times to get there.
As long as you yet there right?
And we laughed about how the timing was never right for us. She always caught me freshly out of something or not ready to be in something. And then she put it out into the ether.
What about now? What are you looking for?
I took a sip of my beer, and looked at her silently for a moment.
I have absolutely no idea.
She made fun of the unintentional dramatic pause, and told me that she appreciated the honesty. And I, honest to God, think she meant it. I think she was okay with neither of us knowing, for the time being. We brushed the seriousness aside and just enjoyed fajitas.
I walked her home and she pulled my tie every time she wanted to emphasize a point, or get my attention, or just wanted to pull my tie. And then she pulled my tie for an all-together different reason. She pulled me real close and it got real still. I could feel her shallow breath on me as her nose grazed mine suddenly. We just started at one another. I saw my reflection in her pale green eyes. She bit her lip, and a little piece of my brain died. I couldn’t take it any longer and I brushed my lips against hers. It was slow, and it was sweet, and she immediately pushed me off.
Okay, get out of here.
I started to turn and to walk away when she gripped my tie, not pulling this time. It only took a moment before we were kissing again
