So, a lot of people these days have been asking my opinion on the whole 30 Chick Flicks thing. Having dated and drank my way through a hundred or so dates, I’m clearly a very different side of the same coin.
Clearly, I have a different viewpoint on life, and this guy’s doing his own little thing, and that’s fine. But the more and more I read about it in interviews and write ups, the more it just leaves a bad feeling on the tip of my tongue. And it finally hit me why. He’s what every girl claims to want. He’s twenty-eight, married, and in his own-misguided way, doing this to improve his understanding of women. But here’s the thing of it all: It’s saccharine, it’s sweet, and it’s cliche.
This guy is playing the part of the lovable sap, and he wants to improve himself. And he does it in a kooky way, he watches these chick flicks, because God knows the secret to most women is found at the bottom of a Cosmo, and in the hazel eyes of Kate Hudson. And yes, he’s fighting the noble fight, we men are usually bastards who cringe at the mere sight of Matthew Mcconaughey, Mark Ruffalo, and Patrick Dempsey. But it isn’t that we are soulless, molesters-in-training, as Lifetime would have you believe. It’s because these movies are so formulaic and straightforward. Boy meets girl. Boy doesn’t have it together, so boy loses girl. Boy makes a big sweeping gesture to prove to girl that he’s better than that.
And I don’t understand how seeing 30 variations on this formula improves your understanding of women. According to interviews, he now has a better understanding of his wife’s body language, and improved his kissing. If it takes Reese Witherspoon to make some men achieve this, so be it. But body language is something that one usually picks up with more familiarity with their partner. So what I am getting is, he just needed to spend some more time snuggling his sweetie. And considering that this was with his wife, I sure hope he wasn’t that clueless before hand. And I’m proud of the guy, really, I know my tolerance for Meg Ryan is not as developed as my tolerance for bourbon and blondes.
It’s a nice story that melts your heart, but it just rings false to me. I guess you are what you surround yourself with, because the whole idea of this is something that has caught unholy amounts of national attention, and the guy will be on shelves within the next six months. It’s the happy ending and the moral, you watch enough movies with your sweetie, you bond. Only, my problem is that this isn’t real life. Most of us don’t just become better people through grand gestures. Life doesn’t follow formulas. We don’t fall for the girl that’s been there all along, we don’t become better people by watching movies. God knows, I wish that my problems could be solved with a boom box and Peter Gabriel, but I keep coming up with Shock The Monkey.
What are your opinions are Team Dillinger or Team Chick Flicks? Weigh in on the comment board.
Hey that’s a good song. I agree with you if he really knew his partner and spent time with her, snuggled her then he could skip the 30 movies. I love chick lit movies, so for me if my husband did that, it would be a turn on.
Sierra Michaels
author of Intimate Encounters
http://www.sierramichaels.com
Chick flicks are a woman’s wet dream because, as you pointed out, the formula is all about changing the man. Women love the idea of changing a man into what she wants him to be vs. who he actually is. Men who actually allow this to happen are pussies. They deserve to have their balls kept in their woman’s purse. These are the same guys who wait 30 dates to get laid. I’d fuck that same girl by the second, or I’d be out. Women know exactly what they’re getting with me because I don’t bullshit them up front. Accept me or get lost. Surprising how many just love the asshole persona. I guess they think they’ll change me down the road. But it doesn’t happen, because I’m a real man not a pussy.
Bitter much? =)
I’m in both agreement and disagreement with you here. I’m with ya on the whole site and mission landing under the sugary sweet, cheesy, & cliche category.
However, I’m going to have to disagree with you on the whole “we don’t become better people by watching movies” bit. Really? You the aspiring book/screenwriter don’t believe that a film can change or better a person? Maybe that’s your first mistake in this whole process. Because if you aren’t setting out to better yourself or to possibly touch others lives with this whole twisted experiment, then what in the hell are you doing? Drowning your sorrows in booze and blondes won’t get you far if you don’t learn something from it all.
I am a lover of films (even the chick flicks). I love getting lost in the lives of the characters. I like imagining what it must be like to be them, to live their life and for me, there have DEFINITELY been moments when I have walked away from a movie a changed person.
Granted, chick flicks weren’t usually the cause of those moments for myself and I agree that grand gestures and formulas aren’t included in the average persons life BUT to each their own. So as sweet & cliche as it may be, that guy is obviously bettering himself. Possibly in the form of a big fat book deal! While it might not be your cuppa tea, the world is full of cheesy, Meg Ryan-Mark Ruffalo lovin’ folks that are gonna slurp it all right up.
I guess it really depends on the person. I’m a female and I don’t really like Chick Flicks. I am nore for action and horror movies. The whole idea that chick flicks helped him as a man seems a little far fetched to me, I mean chick flicks have nothing of any substance in them anyway so what really are you learning? And if you are learning something, shouldn’t you already know that from common sense (but common sense isn’t so common anymore these days). But I have to give him brownie points because that’s a perfect way for him to bond with his wife so he is winning in the end.
So the way to understand you would be to watch 30 zombie flicks in 30 days.
I had kind of the same thought — if this guy needs chick flicks to tell him how to deal with his wife (who, hopefully, he’s lived with for some time now), he was probably a bit clueless to begin with. But, hey. . . I can’t judge, I guess. It’s amazing I’m even married with as clueless as I am.